The graying of divorce: splits after 50 uniquely complicated

For Baby Boomers, even divorce is going gray – with the number of divorces in the over 50 population doubling in the last 20 years.

Women within the group have become leaders in the trend, now known as the Gray Divorce revolution.

Silver Splitters and Diamond Divorcees are the new name for aging boomers headed for Splitsville. No longer willing to stay in unhappy marriages, they are navigating the difficult step of ending relationships that may have lasted 20 or 30 years.

According to researchers, one factor fueling this trend is that people are living longer and do not want to stay with someone who they are unhappy with, particularly in retirement where they may spend more time with a spouse than ever before.

With the empty nest syndrome, women no longer have to take kids into account. Add in the fact that boomers don’t share the same reverence for marriage as their parents; many of the new divorcees are on their second and third marriages.

It all means that many seniors see divorce as the best option.

However, divorce over 50 can be more complicated and brings its own sets of circumstances.

Many couples who have stayed together for a long time may have amassed more assets, and dividing pensions and Social Security benefits can create financial havoc.

Losing financial stability at this age can lead to setbacks that are harder to recover from as there is less time to catch up. Although many women have achieved financial freedom at this stage in their lives, there are still those women who devoted their marriage to raising kids or supporting a spouse in demanding careers – leaving them with less financial security.

Older men may make out better financially than women. But according to Andrew Cherlin, a sociologist at Johns Hopkins University, “If a man gets divorced, his support in later life is gone. Plan B may be to remarry because he needs a caregiver.”

While children of Diamond Divorcees tend to be older, they are not immune to the difficulty of divorce. They’ve earned themselves their own category in family law: ACODs (adult children of divorce).

Theoretically, many of them understand that not all relationships last. But they sometimes take sides or try to dictate terms of the settlement with an eye to the demise of their expected inheritance.

Still, life on the other side of a gray divorce can be positive. “Divorce is the catalyst to rediscover old passions and develop new ones,” says Wendi Schuller, author of the “Global Guide to Divorce.”

“Divorce ends one chapter of life and gives the chance to do something different.”

Maggie Lennon is a writer and photographer who writes about navigating the aging process. Check out her blog, “The Sensational Sixties. An everywoman’s guide to getting older.” Contact her at maggielennon164@yahoo.com.