The beginner’s guide to hacking passwords for fun and profit

Being a hacker is easy, fun and profitable.

To get started, enter the words “password cracking” into the Google or Bing search bar. Up pops “the 10 most popular password cracking tools.”

All one needs to do is download a popular hacker program and fill in a few items, like where to send the hack results when the software is successful, how much money is in your target’s bank accounts and how much data they have at risk.

Beginners can become hackers in a few minutes, no experience needed. The hacker “quick start guide” will have you hacking by this evening, for fun and profit. How great is that?

You can become an expert hacker of people in your neighborhood, city and, or state. Hack banks or even websites, and push your hacking software to anyone who visits that hacked site. All for $29.99. But wait …

Just imagine the opportunities; yesterday you were a victim and today you are the perpetrator. In 24 hours, you will have hundreds of compromised passwords, bank accounts and stock market trading information, etc. Think of the profit potential.

Log into the computer you just hacked and run another program that encrypts that user’s hard drive so they cannot use it. Then demand a fat ransom to restore the data to usable form.

Need help? Use the URL bing.com/videos/search?q=password+cracking and watch videos that assist you in hacking. Go ahead, you know, just for fun.

There you have it, the beginner’s guide to hacking. Soon you will be able to hack bank accounts, credit cards, pipeline companies, even the governments of foreign countries. Start a war or international incident, all for one low-low price.

One word of caution, though: Do not hack U.S. government websites because they have secret ways to find you. We are friends and all, but I do not want to be roommates in that steel motel, if you know what I mean.

OK, all you targets out there, I mean those people that are reusing passwords or think that the password “P@$$Word” is secure. You are on notice: I have just sent an army of hackers your way.

You can thank me later. However, for now, I want you to think about your security and safety. I mean, unless you use protection – you are going to be hacked.

I recommend a password manager that will help you build strong passwords and help you remember all of them. If you want to know more, and I hope you do, call your local computer MSP independent expert. Do not rely on yourself or your internal IT staff. Remember, that did not help Colonial Pipeline or JBS meat supplier.

I was going to close with some snide remark, but I decided you already have been browbeat enough. So, go do the right thing.

William Claney is an independent tech writer and former owner of Computers USA in the Clayton Station. Email questions or comments to willclaney@gmail.com.