Spousal support essential with special needs child
(Dec. 7, 2023) — Dominique King is a blogger who centers around marriage, family, fitness and personal growth. Her insightful and practical approach to advice gives everyday couples, parents and individuals a space to get answers to their questions.
Q. How do I grapple with the overwhelming frustration and seething resentment bubbling inside me as a result of what feels like an abyss of support from my spouse while I’m tirelessly advocating for our special needs child? What steps can I take to salvage our crumbling partnership, all while desperately clinging to the hope of securing the absolute best for our child’s well-being?
A. Championing the cause of a child with special needs is a journey that demands resilience, especially when met with what seems like a dearth of support from a life partner. Navigating such a challenging scenario calls for a strategic approach, and my suggestions are tailored to cultivate open communication, deepen understanding and fortify the overall support system for your child.
Express yourself. Open your heart in a sincere conversation with your spouse, expressing your emotions and concerns about the support you need. Create an environment where both your voices can be heard and where direct questions are encouraged. Clearly communicate the level of involvement you are seeking from them. Give them the space to be open and honest about whether they can or want to meet those expectations.
Knowledge empowers. Take the reins in educating your spouse about the unique needs of your child. Begin by asking what they already know. Often, frustrations arise from a lack of understanding. Share enlightening resources and articles, or arrange sessions with professionals to broaden your awareness and empathy. Knowledge serves as a bridge, closing gaps and nurturing a more supportive atmosphere.
Team advocacy. Involve your spouse in joint advocacy efforts for your child. Discuss specific contributions they can make, such as attending meetings, researching educational tools or actively participating in support groups. Through collaborative action, you not only fortify your partnership but also enrich the overall support network for your child.
Celebrate progress. Applaud any strides, no matter how small, as a form of positive reinforcement. Acknowledge and commend the efforts your spouse puts into becoming more engaged. By spotlighting these incremental victories, you shift the narrative from frustration to shared accomplishments, fostering a sense of achievement.
Nurture yourselves. Emphasize the importance of self-care as a shared priority for both you and your spouse.
Effective stress management is crucial for individual well-being and the overall health of your relationship. Don’t underestimate the necessity of carving out dedicated time for each other. Amid the demanding task of caring for a special needs child, intentional moments of togetherness are vital for maintaining a resilient connection.
You need to discover if the perceived lack of support stems from genuine challenges or, in certain instances, intentional incompetence. If suspicions of the latter arise, addressing this directly is paramount. Seeking professional guidance can help navigate these intricate dynamics, but you can begin the conversation now.
Together, you and your spouse have the power to build a more supportive environment for your child. This involves not only having the courage to ask difficult questions but also being ready to navigate and make adjustments based on the answers you receive.
Be well; you are worthy.
Email questions and comments to her at leaninwiththekings@gmail.com.
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Dominique King
Dominique King is a blogger who centers around marriage, family, fitness and personal growth. Her insightful and practical approach to advice gives everyday couples, parents and individuals a space to get answers to their questions.